User:ERSTATS/Immobile Suit Gundam

Immobile Suit Gundam (E.R. 69)

The first and therefore the most majestic and powerful of all Gundams, E.R. 69 Immobile Suit Gundam, ZQE for short, is powered by tachyon rays. Designed by the majestic John Taylor and soldered by Dennis Badke (Whose exploits include Ledzeppelin, Blink 182, The Eagles, Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band, and The Eagles), it contains technology theat baffles most scientists, as none of it actually works, but it has never been defeated in battle. In fact, it has no known weakness. However, it has no known strength either. Completely invulnerable and waterproof due to its G'z One outer shell, Immobile Suit Gundam has not lost one confrontation with another mobile suit, nor has it won any. Instead, it prefers to stand immobile and watch the world die around it. It is piloted by the legendary pron smoker, Kyle. The E.R. 69 Immobile Suit Gundam also features the largest P.E.N.I.S. (Projectile Enhancing Nuclear Ionic Shotgun) System ever to be installed on a white machine. This in and of itself sets it apart from the other machines. When another mobile suit approches, it assumes the erect firing position. The mere sight of it intimidates all female robots within 69 miles and causes them to implode with much vigor. Another advanced weapon that this formidable Gundam boasts is a powerful Erricane. Seldom live to tell the tale are those who have seen it. However, none of these weapons have ever been put into effect owing to the fact that the Immobile Suit Gundam is a harmless, peaceful, and generally unexciting war machine. And remember, it doesn't move. At all. It smokes pron instead. It intimidates its many opponents with the element of suprise. It is known as the protector of the universe. Immobile Suit Gundam is much too large to see with the naked eye. To many, it is a figment of their imagination. To the few who know the truth, though, Immobile Suit Gundam will live on in our hearts, even though there is a very good chance that this article will be deleted in a few seconds after its posting.